As women and mothers we tend to do everything we can for ourselves and our children, but to what extent?
I spoke to a good friend of mine Rosa this past week about her past relationships. She was a mother of two children from a previous marriage and living with an extremely abusive spouse. She was married to him for nearly 9 years, but why?
In most cases we marry out of pure love. We have this amazing man in front of us whom promises us the world, not only for us, but for our children as well. The man before you promises to be a wonderful father, a great provider and an exceptional spouse. What more could you ask for? You are a working mother struggling to make ends meet, struggling to find a babysitter while you do work and you desire a sence of physical intimacy.
In my experience most men don’t show their faulty trades until the marriage begins. Once the abusive side comes out we tend to feel stuck. Whilst we are married to this abusive spouse we also have a roof over our head, food on the table for our children, and most become stay at home moms.
Remember abuse comes in many ways, some physical, some mental and most commonly both. It can be a calling you a cow everytime you dress up or a slap in the face when you brink him the wrong drink. Some are highly worse than others. Years ago I was with somebody that cussed me, got in my face, and threatened me just because he was drunk and most of the time he probably didn’t even know who I was.
In some cases men don’t only abuse their spouses, but also their children too. Maybe when Mommy goes to work the beatings begin, Don’t think it can’t or won’t happen because it can. Show me the likelihood?
Here it is. Nearly half of all women and men in the United States have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime (48.4% and 48.8%, respectively).
30 to 60% of perpetrators of intimate partner violence also abuse children in the household.
Source: https://www.thehotline.org/resources/statistics/
When we become at our wits’ end, reality sets in. You have to prepare for the inevitable. Some lose little in divorces and some lose everything. Is it worth loosing everything to be able to start all over again? YES! Starting all over again isn’t necessarily a bad thing, It’s a fresh start!
Don’t ever feel stuck! You do not have to take nor withstand being abused to have a happy life with a man. You are so much stronger than you think and even more powerful on you own! I got out, So can you! I love my husband and I couldn’t imagine life without him, but if I was stuck in Rosa’s shoes don’t think I wouldn’t bolt because I would and I would make it! As women we don’t always give ourselves credit where its due, but YOU ARE STRONG, MOMA!
Psalm 46:5
“God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.“